Anyone can father a child, but it takes a real man to be a dad. In other times and places, fathers were stern, the rulers of the home. The idea that they could play joyfully with a toddler beggars the imagination.
Here in our world, dads are the kings, the heroes, the shoulders to carry us, the strong arms that are always ready to bring us sleeping from the car to our beds. When you’re a new dad, you need to stay in dad mode 24/7. Fathers are for tweens and teens.
Infants Are Hard to Break
No, you shouldn’t toss a newborn into the air. They will not get the joke at all. You don’t, however, need to handle an infant as if she is spun glass.
The newborn will curl up into a ball when held. After all, it’s spent nine months in just that position. Be prepared to carry her that way. Guys find that pretending the baby is a piece of sporting equipment works well. It’s even called the ‘football hold.’ The head goes into your hand, always, and the rest of the punkin’ goes under your arm from your front to back, cradled against your side.
No Jiggling Permitted
Infants have stomachs that, while you wouldn’t call them delicate, have a hard time holding onto the contents. That’s what causes the spit-ups. It isn’t like vomiting. It’s literally the milk they just swallowed a minute before coming back up in the same condition it went down. No smell, no curdling, you needn’t be grossed out. Usually, this upchuck comes riding on top of a burp.
Some dads think that quickly jiggling a baby up and down will help whatever; no one knows what they’re thinking. Keep that jumping up-and-down motion going, and you are going to wear a shower of milk. If you feel they need a burp, lie the baby vertically against your chest. Don’t pound on his back. A gentle vertical rubbing up and down the back will work wonders, burps with no clean up required.
Are you tasked with bottle duty? Fear not, all is in the positioning. You have several choices, so pick whichever works out best for you and Cinderella. You can hold her in the crook of your weak arm, then hold the bottle with your strong arm. Do not jiggle, remember? Just keep her head higher than her stomach, quietly. You can also lie him on your lap facing you, head held a little vertical from stomach.
Diapering for Dads
Okay, we all know that daddy knows all about the pee-pee and poo-poo. There’s no use pretending you’ve never seen or smelled anything like Oh, at first, the feces are particularly resplendent. For the first few days, the babe will put out Grade-A tar seemingly straight from La Brea. It’s black, it’s icky, and it’s sticky. You can handle it.
Next, you will see light yellow, watery feces that look like it’s filled with seeds. It can be mushy, lumpy, and is some variation on yellow. Breastfed babies keep this going for longer.
If you have a boy baby, you better get prepared. Unless the little penis is covered, it will inevitably happen that you will get a face full of pee. Nowhere else, just in your face, dad. There is such a thing as a ‘peepee teepee.’ It’s a little disposable tent that covers the urine shooter. The teepee is a good investment and, by the way, a great baby shower gift.
After these sessions, you will welcome good, honest, brown poo. No matter what the color, texture or odor, cleanup is your job number one. It would be best if you were thorough and, at the same time, gentle. You might use a soft toilet paper first to get most of the stuff up. Next, you’ll find that baby wipes are convenient and thorough.
Once all the pee and poo have disappeared, be careful about what comes next. Ask your pediatrician which product they prefer to put on the baby’s diaper area. Never use an ointment and baby powder together. That equals paste, and you won’t like cleaning it up either. Ask the hospital nurse to show you how she cleans and diapers your baby. She might have new tricks, and she’ll give you invaluable advice.
Bath Time Advice
Everyone is afraid of bath time when they have a newborn. Babies are round, soft, and have no muscle tone. Keeping hold of them in water is like grabbing onto a glob of silicone.
The kitchen sink is your best bet for giving a bath. It’s high enough and small enough to do the job. First, put a large bath towel in the bottom of the sink. Next, fill the sink with a few inches of warm water. The temperature should be equal to your body’s. That’s why you see people put their elbow in the water. The two temperatures should match. Put some baby soap into a soft washcloth.
Always, always keep your baby’s head in one hand. Do not move that hand. Use your other hand to take that cloth and wash. Start at the top of his head and work your way down. Rinse as well as you can with the bath water. Don’t move the baby out of the sink yet. Reach under the towel and drain the water. Then, get a dry towel and wrap up the baby. Diaper and dress; you’ve finished!
Look Ahead, Dad; More to Come!
Fathers can be darned awesome. The dad of a newborn will face new challenges every day for the first six weeks or so. After that, he’s cruising toward toddlerhood with all the confidence he can muster. Keep searching out those how-to books! Have a Great Father’s Day! Watch What Makes a Great Father and Enjoy Your Day by Mark Trahan in this TedTalk! We appreciate at Standing Square on the role you play in our homes.