Learning to say no without explaining yourself can be hard to do. But, it is a must learn skill. You’re not alone. Wikihow even provides pictures for those who seem unable to pick up the skill without assistance. Do whatever it takes to learn when and why to say no. In fact, I would even recommend practicing saying no. As we mentioned earlier, practicing a skill is important. Keep reading for more tips on just saying no.
Learning to say no without explaining yourself can be hard to do. But it is a must learn skill. There are a number of reasons why you should learn to say no. For instance, if you’re unable to say no, you’ll also be unable to be in charge of your own time and schedule. Literally, other people will be in charge of your calendar, your workday, your evenings and your weekends. Few people really want to live like this. Who and where are the people we’re least likely to feel comfortable telling no? Often, at home, these are family members. A close second would be employers and co-workers, and a third option is more than likely places where we interact socially, such as churches, clubs and organizations, and friends. Let’s look at each one of these potential interactions.
Saying No to Parents
Okay, this is dangerous territory to be sure. But, first we have to examine why we might have to tell Mom, no? For instance, will a yes to Mom cause problems for you or Mom. It’s unfortunate, but not unusual in this current day and age to have parents with problems that we normally associate with teens or young adults. Parents who spend money unwisely or have bad habits, would be examples of this phenomenon. As awkward and unusual as this situation may be, you are well within your right not offer assistance that would prevent your parents from being in a worst situation. Well that $100-dollar bill head down to the casino or the liquor store. Be honest, you know if it will or won’t. Just say No. In less dangerous territory, will your yes, cause you to be overcommitted and perform in poorly in other areas. Are you really the only one who can bake the cake for the bazaar?
Saying No to Children
Since it’s an absolutely imperative that our children learn to deal with be told no, they might as well hear it from us first. As much as we love them, our young ones need to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them, even if our love does. It really will be alright if they have to wait another year, or two, or three before they get a cell phone. The world isn’t going to end, if that bed time isn’t budging because you’re a parent who cares if they get a good night’s sleep on a school night. Besides, my mother says bedtime is for parents anyway. If you know handing over that $20 dollars after you insisted you wouldn’t, will undercut your authority in the future, be strong enough to close the wallet. You can handle it and you’re teaching them that they can handle it, as well.
Saying No to Spouse
Whoa, Nellie. You’re really heading into choppy waters. What is the reason for this no? Are you committing to attending an event, that you really unsure you’ll be able to make? Be honest. It’s better to be direct and let your loved one know ahead of time, that you may not be able to attend this function. Make no mistake, you need a good reason to say no to a spouse. So much of this relationship depends on living selflessly. So, a no, simply because I didn’t enjoy your mother’s turkey last Thanksgiving, probably isn’t going to make it. But, saying yes you can attend a function and then skipping out on it will eventually land you in hot water. Honesty is the best policy. Caution, there is no need to say, “Honey, your mother’s turkey was so dry, it was like eating sand on the beach.” But, full steam ahead on, “if I miss one more day of work, my boss says I’m toast”.
Can I Tell My Boss No?
There are times when you absolutely have to tell the boss no. Let’s say, you’re being asked to do is unethical or illegal, say no and start a fresh job search. In some instances, your ability to say no can be directly tied to how long you have been working for a company and how dependable you have been in the past. Establish a pattern of being dependable without being a push-over. When you ask to leave early for “little Jimmy’s” class play, instead of working overtime, you want your boss thinking…John is so dependable. What will it hurt if he leaves early this one day?” Will there be consequences? Sometimes the answer is yes. But, being unable to say no also brings undesirable consequences.
What about co-workers?
If you can tell your boss no. You should definitely be able to say no to a peer. Okay, so you know how to handle a situation better. But each time you help this person out, it slows you down and you are unable to complete your own work. Just say no. Yes, teach the task. Try it once, twice, three times, perhaps. But, if they can’t pick it up the skill, say no. Be honest with yourself and them. You can’t do two jobs. And, if you’re doing their job, who’s doing yours? You may also be helping them, by telling them no. Without you standing in the way, they may find the initiative to truly learn the task themselves without you jumping in to save the day. Or, they may find they are not suited to the task or the job and find a better one somewhere else.
Surely I Can’t Tell The Pastor No.
Why can’t you tell the pastor no? In fact, if anyone has heard no before, it’s these people? Are you falling asleep at work because you’re in church for Sunday School, Morning Worship, Wednesday Bible Class, Friday Potluck, Saturday Morning Choir Practice, etc? You’re called to be a good steward. If your many responsibilities at the church is putting a strain on your job, your family, and your nerves, consider saying no. I know this sounds sacrilegious, but hear me out. You have to be a good steward of your time in every area of your life. Regardless of whether or not the pastor knows your heart, surely God does. It may be that you’ll have more time to be active, once the kids are grown or once you retire. Perhaps, minimizing your presence in some areas will mean you can be more dedicated in other areas.
Feeling Guilty
Finally, you’ve been learning to say no and although you have more time in your schedule, now you’re feeling guilty. Get over it. The reason you have been asked to do so many things is because you have always been willing to say yes. Your yeses (is that a word?) should have real value. Your time is valuable. As a person, you’re valuable. It should be a truism that when you take the time to tell a person, yes, you find that task worthy of your valuable yes. You will also need to make sure that you’re able to emphasize a your no, doesn’t mean that you don’t value a task or person, but rather, your time is so limited, you’re not sure you would be able to give it the time and effort required. Well, good luck on your journey. I hope you found this information valuable. What? No?